Fact or Myth – a Pop Quiz
Can you determine which statements are Fact and which are Myths?
1) Forgiveness requires forgetting the offense.
2) Unforgiveness affects one's relationship with others in addition to the offender.
3) Revenge is mine, says the Lord. And today I do the Lord's work.
4) Forgiveness requires the participation of the offended and the offender.
5) When God forgives, He does not forget.
6) Remorse and an apology must come before forgiveness can be granted.
7) God does not provide any examples of forgiveness.
8) Forgiving others is not as important as obedience to God's commands.
9) Forgiveness takes time and inner healing to be complete.
10) Reconciliation requires forgiveness first.
11) Forgiving oneself may be the hardest.
Many of these statements are the tee shirt "wisdom" of our age pertaining to vengeance and grudges. We will encounter each in our ascent of Mount Offense. By the time you reach the summit, you will be able to identify the three statements in this list that are facts. Hopefully you will understand how these other 8 myths actually keep many virtually chained to the accumulating weight of unforgiveness and purposed retribution, reinforcing the hurt and suffering for the one who has been offended or betrayed. Meanwhile the offender goes on with their life.
As we stand in the shadow of this mountain made up of offenses, disappointment, and betrayal, will you choose to make the ascent or to remain with those who have accepted the virtual chains of unforgiveness as just another fact of life? Accept the challenge of conquering Mount Offense and at the summit you will experience exhilarating freedom from the imprisoning chains of unforgiveness. If you choose to seek that freedom, then join me over at the base of Mount Offense for introductions and some gear.
Preparing for the Climb
Allow me to introduce myself. I am West D. Wetstone (pronounced Wets-on), a degreed engineer with post-graduate training and decades of listening and coaching others. Part of my training was with Dr. Neil Anderson, both through his books and his workshop on “Spiritual Conflicts and Biblical Counseling.” His understanding of God's forgiveness and desire that those who are forgiven 'pay it forward' has brought about freedom in my life. In our climb to conquer Mount Offense, we will consider the "wisdom" of our age on forgiveness in order to separate our Creator's truth from the myths. Then I will share how I learned to leave my collection of offenses in the care of another, freed of that burden of unforgiveness and vengeance. My hope is that you also will experience this exhilarating freedom as we conquer your Mount Offense through the climb of the forgiveness trail.
To those who are joining me, we can start issuing you the equipment to conquer your Mount Offense. You may keep it for future offenses you will encounter in life.
First, you will need an open mind and heart. Obfuscating the pain and betrayal by being stoic or denying that it 'bothered you' pushes it deeper into that private waste pit in your soul.
Second, you will need the humility to ask for help. Help from Father and from others. An aside here, I have heard that many of you do not know the Lord Almighty as Father or, as the Apostle Paul calls Him, "Abba Father" or Papa. It is a name of intimacy, of family, and of respect. Know that when I use these family terms it is intended to convey the acceptance, love, security, training, and comfort of the father that God created men to be. I am sure there are some of you who have regrets about failing to be that father to your children, but you can always start by imitating our Father in Heaven. After all, I have seen Him do miracles.
Third, you will need the Bible as we clear away the fog around the decision of forgiveness.
Finally, do not forget your lunch.
This first section of our climb will require a bit of scrambling over some large boulders. You will not need climbing gear but may want to use gloves.
