I. The Scramble – Forgiveness Illustrated
Forgiveness is a core theme through-out the Bible and is often tied to “sin” and blood sacrifices. In its simplest meaning, “sin” is an offense against the Lord Almighty - thinking, saying, or doing something that is contrary to His ways. Most of you know some of the Creator's instructions for life – do not steal, do not bear false witness, do not worship idols, do not commit adultery, obey God. These instructions are part of the "operating manual" for humans, instructions for the use and care to get the best experience out of being a person. I was going to illustrate this by asking who would take a Camaro down a rocky fire trail but then remembered watching two couples in a Camaro grinding off its under-carriage on a 4 x 4 dirt access road. Fortunately, recent rain prevented their shower of sparks from starting a forest fire. I suspect that type of usage was not advised in their operator's manual, but they still did it.
Similarly, people tend to ignore the operator's manual that our Creator provided and have borne the consequences. Uncovering a spouse's adultery often spawns cynicism and confusion for both adults and children. A thief in jail does not consider it a paradise vacation. There are consequences when God's Operator's Manual is minimized or ignored, acts that are often referred to as sin. In many ways, sin is simply “flipping God the bird,” telling Him that I know best and will do what I want, regardless of what You, my Creator,recommend. So, the next time a driver cuts in front of you and "gives you the finger," realize that your anger is just a hint of what the Lord Almighty feels when you choose to sidestep His ways.
With this understanding of sin, the Bible records the history of people as they interact with God, both as individuals and in community. Some of these individuals respect God's direction and live, individuals such as Noah and his family. Others blatantly disregard God' instructions, essentially "flipping God the bird," and suffer his wrath. Communities such as Sodom and individuals such as King Nebuchadnezzar who "was chased from his palace and ate grass like the cows, … his hair grew as long as eagles’ feathers, and his nails were like birds’ claws." (Daniel 4:33 NLT). Do you know someone who was finally caught after repeating an action numerous time? Were they shocked that someone thought their actions were wrong? Even though a voice whispered that this act contradicted God's ways, had they rationalized that it was ok or acceptable? Actions such as drug use, pornography, adultery, and theft. Surely you can name a few people as well as their rationalization that makes it acceptable. I have heard many of these justifications such as, "It is a new generation, we do not hold to the old ways of sexual purity." or "It is just pictures, I am not really hurting anyone." (Be careful not to think too hard, it might get personal.) The Bible recorded the history of those who respected the Lord Almighty and lived according to His ways and those who chose to do it "their way."
BUT (Behold Ultimate Truth)
But God, in His love for mankind, provided stand-ins to suffer the just punishment of sin so that instead of being forever at enmity with God, man could experience a right relationship with God. The first portion of the Bible, the Old Testament, has requirements for these numerous sacrifices selected to make those who offered them right with the Lord Almighty. These sacrifices were placeholders of sorts for when Jesus, the only man to never offend the Lord Almighty, would become the ultimate and final stand-in, suffering the punishment for the offenses against God of those who believe in him. (John 3:16)
Thus, this God-Man Jesus experienced the cost of forgiving others and frequently taught on it. The Apostle Matthew records one of these lessons from an interaction between Jesus and Peter about how often he, Peter, a follower of Jesus, should forgive another.
Peter: “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?”
Jesus: “No, not seven times, but seventy times seven!” (Wonder if Peter could count that high?)
Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the debt.
But the man fell down before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt.
But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment. His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded. But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full.
When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him everything that had happened. Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt.
That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart. Matthew 18:21-35 NLT
Did you catch that? This one dude owes the king millions of dollars, pleads with the king for more time, and instead of giving him more time, the king surprises him by forgiving the debt! Note that the debt did not go unpaid, the king chose to accept the cost of losing those millions of dollars due to his servant's fault.
Then as he is leaving the king, this dude runs into someone that owed him a few thousand dollars – probably loaned out from the millions loaned to him by the king. But the plea for patience and more time to repay does not receive a similar response of forgiving this much smaller debt. Instead, he does what he is legally allowed to do – had the debtor arrested and put in prison until he could pay back the debt. This was, after all, the legal justice for this type of an offense.
An interesting parable, but what was the object of Jesus' story? Perhaps that the Lord Almighty is like the king, and we are like the first servant who has repeatedly offended God, accumulating millions of offenses, both minor and egregious. Yet God chooses to forgive. The second servant may represent any other person who wrongs us as we navigate through life. Now a thousand dollars is not an insignificant debt. But when compared to the first servant's millions of debt, the thousands of debt is little more than a grain of sand on the beach. But instead of 'paying it forward' by extending the generosity of the king, the servant chooses to pursue legal justice for his borrower by having the authorities throw him in prison until the debt could be paid in full.
From this parable, Jesus defines forgiveness as choosing to accept the consequences of another’s wrong and choosing not to hold it against them in the future. The King chose to accept the loss of the millions and the impact it had on him and then he chose not to hold this grievous offense against the servant, to forgive his servant. The legal justice for this type of offense may have been imprisonment, torture, or worse. Now, if this servant had followed the king's example, this would have been a nice story. But it is not. Instead, he throws this other servant into prison until his debt could be paid. The king demonstrated forgiveness at great cost to himself. The servant then demonstrated unforgiveness when he required justice for the smaller debt. In the end, that servant was literally chained to his choice not to extend forgiveness.
Who do you resemble, King or Servant?
Me, I am working to resemble the king. But the servant's actions fit more in line with my nature. But that is changing with the renewal. Does that surprise you that usually my first reaction to a wrong is vengeance? But now that I have frequently climbed what are now hills of offense, that initial temptation does not last long. In a significant offense, I often have to remember some of what Jesus has forgiven me and pay that forward. What about you? Who would your friends say that you resemble the most? The king or the servant?
Before answering that question, contemplate how much the Almighty has forgiven you? Grab some paper and jot down the first 25 acts of defiance that come to mind. If your offenses towards Father are only drizzling out, ask the Spirit to increase your discernment as you consider these interrogatories:
On how many occasions have you loved something or someone more than you love Father? Who was more influential in controlling your decisions? God or another?
How many times have you fabricated a 'white' lie to get out of trouble?
How often this week have you fantasized about sexual exploits that, if actually done, would violate one or more of God's commands? (Men, keep it to 3 digits.)
How many harsh words, instead of kind encouraging words, have you spoken to another today? What about this week? (Love others as yourself and encourage one another.)
In the past week, how many times have your thoughts drifted from what is good, right, pure, lovely, or admirable? Philippians 4:8
How is that list coming? What you may discover is that like me, you have an uncanny ability to ‘dumb-down’ God's commands in such a way as to keep most of them and thus not appreciate what He has forgiven you. Have you heard this adage? "I can love you, but I do not have to like you.” Does not love accept and like a person whatever their character and mannerisms? They may have habits or life situations (homelessness, disease) that one may not like, but liking the person is part of the unity in Christ. Another adage is, "It is okay to think it, just not do it." Jesus shot that one down really quick in his response recorded in Matthew 5:21-22. Until we compare ourselves to Jesus, we will not begin to fathom the depth of our depravity and the expanse of His forgiveness. When a person first meets Jesus, they may consider themselves relatively good, at least compared to those around them. For example, when a gray dot is placed on a pitch-black background, it tends to look white. But as they study Jesus, his teachings and how he interacted with people, they start to grasp the magnitude of the debt for which they have been forgiven and are more eager to 'pay it forward' by forgiving others. Following the above example, take that same gray dot and put it against a brilliant white background. Now it appears black.
Before finding a quiet spot on the trail to speak with the Spirit and work through this exercise, I would like to address the ‘cardinal sins’. Susan had been coming to a Bible study now and then but often we would find her at the bowling alley bar instead of the fellowship group. After she had moved out of the area, I wrote that I felt like she was running from something. She wrote back that she almost dropped her coffee when she read that. Despite all her excuses, I had guessed she was running and that had earned the right to hear her secret. An abortion. How could God ever love one who has killed her baby? In her mind, this was such a grave, unforgivable sin that she was ashamed every time she was with other believers, fearful they would find out her secret. She was already condemning herself and did not need others to pile it on. I had the pleasure of introducing her to a Father who loves her intensely and forgives, even those acts considered "cardinal sins." When one catches a glimpse of their depravity, the self-image mask slips and either the shame overwhelms, or Father overwhelms.
At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again, he stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
“No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.” John 8:2-11 NIV
No one knows what Jesus wrote in the sand. I guess it was not important. But it did cause each of her accusers to perceive their sin which was as "bad" or worse than adultery and if they continued accusing this adulteress, their sin may also be exposed. As leaders in the Jewish faith, such exposure would be devastating and perhaps even cause for them to be stoned. They had caught a glimpse of their depravity.
If an 'unforgivable' sin is a hurdle for you, friend, know that if you are a follower of Jesus, you are forgiven. He died for that sin and much worse so that you could be part of the family, experience His love and mercy, and 'pay it forward'.
Find a quiet spot on the trail and ask the Spirit to reveal to you some of what you have been forgiven. Ask Him to reveal the last time that you 'flipped God the bird' and in rebellion, did what you wanted to do. Write down what He brings to the whiteboard of your soul.
And if you are like Susan and have already experienced some of your depravity, acknowledge His forgiveness, acknowledge that in forgiving He has chosen to put it behind Him as far as the East is from the West and never charge you with it again. Feel, relax, and bask in Papa's welcoming love.
In about 20 minutes we will regroup and then complete this section of the climb up your Mount Offense.
<<<<< Time Alone With God (TAWG) >>>>>
Time to move on to our first rest area. Although only a few hundred feet ahead, that should be time enough for me to hear what you and the Spirit of God uncovered. Has this exercise made it easier to pay it forward and forgive those who have wronged you?
Well, that short distance went faster than I expected but it sounds like many of you are becoming aware of the immensity of some of your sin and how much it cost Jesus to forgive you. As you find a spot to rest, allow me to summarize where our scrambling over these rocks on the trail has brought us. I will tell a bit of my story after we meditate on Jesus' conclusion to those gathered around Him when Peter asked how many times he should forgive another. Perhaps the Teacher wanted to make sure they had grasped the lesson:
That is what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.
That is a sobering statement. "Forgiving your brothers and sisters from your heart" often seems difficult, if not impossible, considering the gaping wound their betrayal may have torn in your heart. But Father does not issue such a command without providing the means to keep it.
Life Experience
For me, a milestone occurred at a student leaders retreat in North Carolina. After a group study on forgiveness, Bill (an elder) and I went into one of the bedrooms and sat on the beds facing each other.
Bill: “West, you have to forgive your dad.”
West:
“But I cannot forgive him. I loathe him for what he did to me and my family. Did you know that when I was 7, dad was speaking at a Thanksgiving service and told how as a toddler I would scream and cry and not be quiet. One night, he said, he lost patience and wanted to throw me out the window. As I sat there, I wanted to become very small and hide under the chairs.
Later that same year he kicked me out of our home. My younger brother and I were forbidden to go to a neighbor’s house a half mile away. So, putting some blankets and clothes in a wheelbarrow, we headed down the dirt road not knowing where we could stay. He had abandoned me.
And then a few years later, I went to hug my dad goodbye before going to school and he pushed me away and said, ‘Men do not hug.’ and took my tiny hand in his baseball mitt of a hand and shook good-bye.
And it was not just me, Bill. When my brother and I heard screaming, we ran to the living room to see dad sitting on top of mom hitting her. He was out of control. My brother pushed him off Mom and he fled out the door.
No Bill, he has hurt me, my brothers, and my mother in many ways, way more than these. When I would stand next to him in church, I so loathed him that I could not participate in the worship. No, Bill, I cannot forgive him.
Bill: “West, you have to forgive your dad.”
West: “I do not think I can forgive my dad.”
Bill: “West, son, you have to forgive your dad.”
West:
“Ok, I will try.” I started naming the wrongs he had done, the abandonment, the smacks on the back of my head knocking me out of the chair, the degrading “sermons” like when he preached at me about preaching at people. I recalled the times he hit mom, and how he was rarely there to be dad. I chose to accept the consequences of each event, and I started weeping. With each statement of forgiveness, with each sob, anger and hatred towards my dad vacated my soul. By the end I was emotionally drained but had forgiven dad.
Forgiving dad was painful and opened some old wounds I had buried. But to no longer be chained to that hatred was refreshing. Although only in my twenties, the weight of the grudges and vengeance I carried was already exceedingly heavy. That Thanksgiving I went home and asked my dad to forgive me for my hatred of him.
Well, that is my story and I am sticking to it. You will hear more of my experiences as we conquer Mount Offense. These next few sections of the trail will be less strenuous and address some of the myths about forgiveness.
